Paradox
I come from a long line of humanitarians. My great-grandmother journeyed from England to northern India, and there rescued 17 babies, some from the riverbed who were left to die because they were born to the concubines of ‘zamindars’ (landowners or aristocrats of their day).
Ms Murch raised these children as her own and one of them became my grandmother who became a nurse, and later the Head of Nursing for the state of Gujarat, India — where she continues to tirelessly dedicate her life to teaching nursing and raising the standard of the practices of these dear women, who in reality handle the survival of human lives in a country where life is sorrowfully cheap. Ms Murch was friends with Mother Teresa in Calcutta and so my mother was blessed by her as a baby and named Theresa after her.
When I was 12, my parents asked me to stop school to help take care of kids so they could go on a mission trip to another part of the country. Taking care of a group of kids from ages 1-9 and doing everything from giving them school, to washing their laundry in a big barrel (yes, there was no washing machine), to cooking to doing sports. Needless to say, I grew up quickly. When I was 13 I was put out on the streets to assist in fundraising activities for the humanitarian projects. By the time I was 15, I was well-experienced in leading my own team and so my friends and I opened up a care home for children who had been orphaned by AIDS. The orphanages refused to take them in after their parents had died, simply because they were uneducated about how AIDS worked and ignored the fact that the kids were not HIV-positive at all. At 17, I and my peers went to the aftermath of an earthquake. There was so much corruption, that the blankets that came from Sweden were sitting at the train station in the rain while two local political parties were fighting over who would get the credit for donating them in the local newspaper. This was the beginning of me realizing that it was going to take a lot more to actually change the world. When I was 18, I left home to volunteer in the Middle East where I knew some people who had projects throughout the region with refugees. I raised the money for my ticket to go there by learning 10 songs on the guitar and singing them over and over in the restaurants and bars down the streets of Baga beach in Goa.
My parents have dedicated the last 35 years to service-oriented work, and still, they continue. At the time of writing this we have 900+ street children receiving an education instead of begging and trying to earn a living in the slums. For these and other similar efforts, I was an activist and fundraiser from my teenage years and learned how to build projects from the ground up. For 14 years I did full-time humanitarian work, and for the last several years, I continue to stay actively involved in whatever needs present themselves.
If you ever set out to be a world-changer like I did, there are two important things that I think you should know, and that I wish someone would have told me. Adjusting my thinking on this may have very well saved me a whole lot of heartache and discouragement along the way.
1. It’s terribly untrue that “If you’ll be kind to others, they’ll be kind to you.” We used to have an evil little children’s song with those very words. In my 1000’s of experiences, if you are nice to others, more than likely they won’t be kind to you. There’s also a good chance they won’t be grateful. They might even steal from you, lie about you, get you in trouble, cheat you & screw you over. If you know this and decide to give your life to serve anyways, you’ll be much less disappointed. It’s always good to ask ‘why’ before doing anything. Once you are clear on why, then your heart is in the right place and just the opportunity to be a blessing to anyone in need will be a reward in itself – regardless of what you get or don’t get in return.
2. Another widely spread belief is that making others happy will make you happy. Believe me, it doesn’t! The only way to be happy is from within and make yourself so – whatever that means to you. There is one religion, in particular, that is big on teaching ‘sacrifice’ and from that comes the resultant guilt, shame, and blame. Sacrificing your own happiness will not bring you anything good, and if you are a parent, that is also a ridiculous example to set for your children and will set them up for a life of misery too.
This poem is credited to Mother Teresa, and it’s a great one for anyone who would like to live a meaningful life and use their gifts and talents to better our planet.
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
(Photo: Celebrating the Indian Festival of Lights, Diwali, at an orphanage in India)