I Got the Power
8 years ago I made the unconscious decision to give my power away to someone I dared to trust. I had no idea at the time what compromising my conviction to stay true to myself would cost me…
Many chapters of the book later, I can say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me, because … I now live a life so peaceful and free and fun, that most could not even imagine it!
You see, our feelings are like our inbuilt GPS system. The mind and heart may give us unclear signals, but the body … never lies. When you are sick, you are sick. There’s no faking it. You can hide your thoughts and intentions, but with your body, it always tells the truth. So what we feel in our bodies, our feelings (or what some call the “gut feeling”), is a good indicator of whether or not we’re on the right track!
It’s a bit like those bumps on the highway that make a loud noise when you drive off the center of the road. It’s not like you’re about to die when you hear them, but like our feelings, they simply tell us that we’re not really on the straight path of our well being and happiness and it’s time to get back on track.
How did I lose my power? When something in my life didn’t feel right, I tried to make the difficult decision to let it go, but I couldn’t find the strength within me. I say “difficult”, because sometimes letting things go isn’t exactly easy. But I have since learned what that statement really means: We do not need to let go of our dreams or even the people we love, to have it all, we must let go of all the resistance and ideas and feelings and beliefs that we cannot have that, and focus fully and only on what we desire.
Instead of sticking with my choice to believe in love, I compromised my decision and feelings, and let myself be persuaded by someone else who was not living in honesty and in fact, had very toxic relationships with their ex and sister. Sometimes when we care or love someone, we think that by supporting their unhealthy behaviour, we are being kind. Actually, the opposite is true. This is not kind to them or to ourselves.
We deserve what we tolerate, and tolerating unacceptable hurtful behavior, made me guilty of the same. When we compromise the good feelings that are ours to have and do things against what we feel to be TRUE, we become players in the games of wounded people who are toxic. This can happen with anyone … spouses, lovers, friends, parents, even children. If we don’t set boundaries, before we know it, we’ve lost our power.
The feeling only continued to get worse and worse till I couldn’t handle it anymore. It eventually made me feel really sick. I lost pretty much everything I had in the bargain, including my well being, peace, happiness, health, appetite, sleep, and everything I had worked hard to create and build.
How did I get my power back? It was a process…
I made a commitment to myself moving forward, to NEVER give up my power again. I decided that I can no longer afford to borrow against myself. I can no longer put ANYTHING before my well being.
When thinking about the situation I landed myself in, it also helped me to think of the injustice that happens to so many women and children and men every day. I asked myself would I allow a small child to be hurting in the way that I myself was hurting? When I realized that my answer was: “Of course not!”, it made perfect sense that I shouldn’t allow myself to be bullied, manipulated, intimidated, or controlled either. This helped me resolve to never tolerate it again!
Even if someone has wronged you 99% and you are only responsible for 1% that’s gone wrong, maybe the 1% is that you allowed it to happen and you didn’t speak up for yourself or stop someone from hurting you, focus on that 1%, for in there lies your power! When you’re victimized your attention is on the other person, not yourself. Any area where you feel victimized is an opportunity to take back your power, no matter how bad your life has been!
Let go of the past by COMPLETING IT, so your energy can be focused on creating the future.
See yourself CLEARLY and be honest with how things are … that’s your ticket out of jail.
– Over-analyzing takes away from taking responsibility.
While we cannot be responsible for much of what has happened to us in life, we CAN be responsible for who we have been in the face of it and even seek to discover the often covert and unconscious ways in which we have colluded with our own victimization. This is our access to the power we need to create a different story. This is our true ticket towards liberation. What people do to you is THEIR karma. How you REACT, is YOURS!“
I got the power!!!
Text: My notes and lessons from a seminar by Katherine W. Thomas who I consider to be the Queen of Taking Responsibility for Your Life! Check her out!